I travel overseas a lot for work, and sometimes I get very short notice about the trips. There are a few places I visit regularly that require a visa, and while I usually try to get 12 month, multi-entry visas, eventually they run out. I had two situations in the last 6 months where I had to go somewhere at short notice, and my multi-entry visa had expired. The two experiences were dramatically different however (country names omitted to cover my arse).

Experience 1

Found out I needed to visit Country A, checked my passport, bugger!, visa about to expire. Check website for Country A’s Australian consulate, WooHoo! they do express processing of visas for an extra fee.

I gathered passport photos (I keep a packet of them in my draw), downloaded and filled out the form, got the cash (they don’t take credit card), checked the times they accept visa applications (yes, been caught by this before), hassled corporate travel to get a flight itinerary quickly, grabbed my reading folder for something to do while waiting, and trotted off to the consulate.

I have to admit at this point I was feeling pretty good. I’ve done this visa thing so many times I thought I had it down to a fine art. I pulled together all the stuff I needed in less than 15 minutes. I should have known I was heading for a fall.

My number is called, I go up to the counter with all the pieces, the attendant checks the form and various bits I have, all good. Then tells me I can pick the visa up in a few days. Very politely, I point out that I’ve ticked the Express option and am happy to pay the extra fee, just I need to fly out in about 36 hours.

This is where it all went pear shaped.

She explained to me that the express visa is done purely at the discretion of the Consulate General, and why wasn’t I organised enough to apply earlier? I explained that I’d literally only just found out I needed to travel about 30 minutes earlier. With much clucking of tongue, she retreated out the back of the office ostensibly to consult with her colleagues.
After about 10 minutes, she came back and very graciously said that she could process the visa in the time I need, but I needed to write a letter of apology to the Consulate General. Specifically, I should apologise for not being organised enough to apply earlier, and also I should apologise for causing such disruption to the office staff who needed to process my urgent request.

Bear in mind, this was all necesarry just to get something that they advertise as being available on their website for an extra fee. It obviosuly happens often enough that they specifically have this as a published option.

My first thought was to tell them to stick their apology note, that if they wanted me to bow and scrape just so I can purchase something they openly offer, they were deluded. But then I’d have to cancel my trip, reschedule whatever meetings and activities the local team had lined up for me, etc, etc. So, swallowing my pride, I smiled sweetly and asked if a hand-written note would be acceptable? I then proceeded to write the most flowery, arse-kissing note I could muster. I actually wished she’d let me take a copy, I was kind of proud of it.

Upon receiving it, with a satisfied smile she put my application in the clearly marked Express Processing box on her desk and told me I could pick it up tomorrow. I had visions of my letter going up with many others on the wall of their lunch-room, so after a particularly bad day they could cheer themselves up with some memories of how they’d stuck it to this or that customer. Oh well, whatever it takes I guess.

Experience 2

A few months later, similar situation, different country. As before, I quickly pulled together all the bits and bobs needed for Country B, jumped in a cab and on the trip over, I mentally practised my pitch for why I needed an Express Visa. I even rehearsed responses to potential objections on the attendant’s part. I was prepared for battle.

Eventually my number was called, same deal, all the forms get checked, then I decided this is the perfect time to launch into my pitch. I started to explain why I need an Express Visa, how terribly sorry I was to cause such upset, etc, etc, but then she interrupted me, and with a smile she says "It’s OK honey, you don’t need a reason, you just need $50 extra".

I was almost disappointed. Almost.