I guess I should explain why I’m not in India, as I said I would be in this post.

I was on the way there, in the US for meetings, when my grandmother died. She was 99, so not entirely unexpected, but still a shock to the family. She was the last of my grandparents still alive, and understandably my mum was pretty upset.

Not sure what this says about me, but I find myself not that upset. I’d better explain that before you get the wrong idea. I’m sorry I won’t see her again, and I will absolutely miss her, but I feel worse for my mum than for Granny. Granny was always very mentally sharp, even at 99, alert and even fairly physically active. She was relatively independant for someone that age, not living in a nursing home but had her own apartment in a facility that provided meals and basic daytime care if she needed it. She was surrounded by friends and a short distance to family, her church, etc.

However, 4 or 5 weeks ago she had a minor stroke, and then a couple of weeks ago another one. I went to see her in the hospital the weekend before I went to the US and she was not herself at all: confused, frail, and looking down the barrel of not being able to go back to her apartment which she loved, and more importantly, her independant life.

She was so not the Granny I knew, that I can’t help feeling that it’s better that she’s gone on to whatever afterlife she believed in, rather than spending the last little bit of time she had being unhappy and uncomfortable. I’ll miss her, but it would have broken my heart to think that after so many years of being independant and healthy, she would end up living out the last few years of her life like that.

Does that make sense? I hope so. Anyway, fortunately I was able to arrange for Wei Keong to cover for me in India so that I could come back for the funeral (tomorrow in Queensland).

I also should note that when it happened and I told a few of the folks that I was in meetings with in the US (like David I, Jim, Jason and Nick to name a few), not one of them hesitated before saying something to the effect of "Go home. Family comes first". I’ve worked in places where that would have been said, but not with the conviction and the lack of hesitation with which they said it. So thanks guys, it’s a pleasure to work with you all.

To Masoud and the other organisers of JAX India, and to the attendees, very sorry to bail on you, but I’ll make it up to you next time.